Community Brew // Open Your Bible

I've never been the kind of girl to logically think through life. I'm far from being a pro/con list maker. I go with my gut on most things; I just know when my heart is in something and content and when it's not. Deep down, I know that's the Holy Spirit working through me and in my life, on my behalf.

There's been a stirring within me lately. My heart just hasn't been content. I haven't been satisfied with what was going on in my life and have been searching for something, something more. I was a lukewarm Christian for a long time but the Lord slowly taught me that knowing about Him and truly abiding in Him are two different things. I can't remember the exact moment that it clicked in me, but He's been working on my heart ever-so-slightly through the years, pruning me and trimming me into the woman He wants me to be. 

I believe that we as Christians go through different seasons in life. There are time when I feel like the Lord is so near, my walk with Him is in step with where He wants me to be, and all is right in my world. And then there are times when I've fallen off the track a little bit; maybe I got distracted by something shiny over on another road and lost my path for a little while. I believe the Lord is always there, waiting for us and working in us, but letting us learn our lessons and come back to Him willingly.

I've been in the latter season lately. My heart just wasn't in it. I knew there was something missing, but I didn't know what, so I've just been praying that the Lord would reveal it to me, help me remedy what was going on within me, because it wasn't a place I wanted to be in. It's an uncomfortable place and my sinful heart was searching in all the wrong places for all the answers I needed. 

It took me a while to quiet my anxious heart to hear His voice, and I was a little caught off guard by what He told me. "Do you know me, Rachel? Do you? Or are you too busy reading books about me instead of MY book?" Whoa, Lord. Whoa. 

And there it was. Right in front of my face. Stacks of books. Yes, Lord. You're right, I know. I'm quick to read Jen Hatmaker or Shauna Niequist or Ann Voskamp. I love their words. I love their stories. I love reading about my God through women I admire. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I will continue to read these incredible women. But how right the Lord was. I went to grab my Bible to open it, and it took me a bit to even find it, it had been that long. Shameful. 

I've slowly been learning that it's time for me to stop waiting for someone to teach me the Gospel--it's time for me to feed it to myself. I was still using the same Bible I had in junior high, which is sentimental for me, but did nothing to help me learn and grow. So out I went to buy a study Bible and another one in a different translation. It's intimidating, y'all. From the girl who can find any book of the Bible in 6 seconds or less, the Bible is hard to get into when you feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start. That's the Devil making me feel like an outsider to my own God, the One who created me and wrote the Book.

I just wanted to read the words breathed by Him. I just wanted to learn and hear His words and read His story of redemption in the lives of those who came before us. Because in reality, this story is MY story, too. Not just Moses and John the Baptist and Mary. It's my redemption story too. So that's what I did, I just started reading. A sweet friend of mine knew I had been struggling and suggested I get the She Reads Truth study called "Open Your Bible." It's been a breath of fresh air to my heart--just what I needed to get back into the Word. 

Friends, if you've been searching for something more and have known something is missing, know Him. Abide in Him. Don't just know about Him. There are too many people in this world who live their lives knowing about Jesus but never living for Jesus and it's heartbreaking. My biggest prayer lately is that He would just convict me and change me and cleanse me. I'm so desperate to abide in Him that it's almost tangible, and I pray that you are too, sweet friend. Even when He seems like He's so far away, remember that His book is right in front of us...all you have to do is open it and you get a glimpse of our Maker. Now that's a beautiful truth. 

I'm linking up with my favorites, Rachel and Madison for Community Brew! I pray that you'll join in and share with us what the Lord is doing in your life right now. Xoxo

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