What Do You See?

Being someone who has struggled with weight her whole life, I'm my own worst critic. I see myself through harsh eyes--I focus on the bad and rarely ever the good. 

After I showered earlier, I couldn't help but stare at myself in the mirror. With all makeup off, I really began to see myself a little clearer. I look in the mirror and notice the redness in my cheeks. I see the bags under my eyes from working too many shifts in a row. "Gosh, my teeth are getting more crooked by the day." I brush back the hair that needs a little attention. I try to avoid looking myself up and down, because I know the extra pounds on my frame will stand out. I think, "gosh, when did I get so pale?" I spot an extra stretch mark around my hip that wasn't there yesterday and cringe. I make myself stand up a little straighter to look a little taller, but then my shoulders look too broad for my liking, so I slump again. It's a never-ending struggle. 

And then my husband walks in and puts his arms over my shoulders, kisses me on my cheek, and says, "you look so beautiful right now, babe."

I wish I saw myself through his eyes--he sees the beauty that my eyes aren't capable of seeing. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Negativity is contagious and toxic--it stifles the good that surrounds us and brings me down to a place where I don't want to be.

I took another look in the mirror, and tried to focus on the good. What did I see?

I see big blue eyes that match my brothers, my fathers, and my grandfathers; a true sign that I'm from the Dillard family.

I see the facial characteristics that often make others mistake me for my mother or my sister, which is something I take as a compliment.

I see skin that is fair but beautiful, healthy, and isn't burned by the sun and won't be covered in wrinkles when I'm 40.

I see strong legs that serve a purpose--legs that can run, walk, and help me do whatever my heart desires.

I see hair that grows like a weed, that is strong, healthy, and long, which is a blessing, in my eyes. 

I see curves that my husband loves--curves that make me feel feminine and sexy. 

Beyond that, I see strength. I see someone who wants to make a change in her body and is back in the gym, day after day, even when she's sore as can be.

I see bravery and courage of someone who isn't afraid to speak about her faith, who wants the world to know how much Jesus loves them.

I see a friend who would do anything for the women she calls her best friends.

I see a woman who is ambitious and strives every day to better herself, in her faith, in her relationships, and in her career.

I see shoulders that carry burdens and give my friends a place to cry and lean on.

I see someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, who can cry at the drop of a hat, but someone who lives life full of emotion and zest.

I see a woman who is learning who she is, day by day, and is proud of the person she's becoming.

This world's view of beauty and perfection is so skewed these days--we've forgotten what it truly means to be beautiful. We've forgotten that beauty comes from the inside, from the characteristics that make us better people. We need to realize that acceptance of ourselves, our true selves, is what really makes us beautiful. And that's all there is to it.

Friends, I want you to look in the mirror--really look in the mirror--and see past those traits you hate about yourself. Look hard at that gorgeous woman staring back at you, and see the beauty that is there. She is loved. She is wanted. Do you see how far you've come? Do you see the hardships you've defeated? When you really look at yourself, when you let go of the world's idea of "beauty," what do you see? 

1 comment:

  1. Wow! This is so beautiful and inspiring! I've also struggled with weight my whole life- and sometimes it's impossible to see past that. I love it when my husband tells me I'm beautiful. But I really struggle with my thoughts, "Is he just saying that because he's trying to believe it himself!?" Ugh...Take captive every thought, right? I'm going to sit and write those things I love about me today. Thank you :)