The Blinking Cursor

I've started writing and then stopped and hit the delete button 3 times now. I stare at the cursor on the screen. A few sentences spill out, then I reread it, and it just seems trite, impersonal. The same stuff you read every day. The stuff I used to write. 

That's not what I want this to be.

Let's start fresh. Hi, I'm Rachel. 

This is me.

I used to write over at {simple.little.joys} and it was a space that I loved and obsessed over for almost 3 years. It was a place of comfort, therapy, and support for me, until it wasn't, and I had to get away from it. It became a chore, a necessity...the thing I never wanted it to become. I fought against the pull of negativity, but eventually, it was too much.

I stopped writing and then I lost my sparkle. I'm a creative person at heart, and without an outlet, I start feeling like I may explode at any moment. I put a lot of the excess energy into house projects, wedding planning, party prep etc. And it worked. For a while. Then my life slowed down...but my head was still spinning with words and thoughts and ideas and my fingers itched to just write. 

That's when I decided to take the plunge back into the blog world, but on a new page. As much as I loved my old blog, I couldn't imagine just picking back up there. I'm such a different person now...so that called for a fresh place, a clean space. So I contacted Mrs. Kinch, who rocked my face off with how easy and perfect she was with designing. This page has been up and ready to go for probably 2 months now, I've just been waiting until my heart was ready to write.

As the days passed, and I kept searching for inspiration here, there, and everywhere, I realized that I'd never really be ready to write, I just had to close my eyes, jump, and see what happened. So here I am. As ready to write as I'm ever going to be. It's scary, I'm not going to lie.

It's vulnerable opening your life back up to the blog world. I was so hesitant to become transparent again, but I think I'm ready. I love this world and I miss being a part of it. I feel as if I've been on vacation for a long time, but here I am, back where I belong and feeling refreshed. So much has changed over the past few months, and yet so much is still the same. I'm never a huge fan of change, but everything that's happened over my absence has been welcomed with open arms. I'm growing and changing and evolving, and I love who I'm becoming, even if the process is slow. 

I can't wait to talk to y'all about life and what has happened and all the good and the bad--it thrills me so to open this page and have this outlet again. 

I promise now (to whoever may read) that I'm not going to fall into the same blog rut that I was once in. I'm also not going to take part in the "blog rules" that I once fell prey to. I may have a post that's all photos. Or all words. Or a little of both. And I may post every day of the week, or I may post only twice. And look at me--first post on a Tuesday! I'm living on the edge. I'm just going where my heart leads. 

I saw this quote a few months ago and have probably read it 100+ times since then. Something about it is so profound to me; each time I read it, I get something new out of it--so I wanted to share with y'all. 



I'm embracing. 

Oh, and let me leave you with a sneak peek of something that happened while I was away...



More on that later!

Xoxo

20 comments:

  1. Yay!! I'm so excited that you're writing again :) I've missed you!! So looking forward to this new journey! Love you, sweet girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahhh love love love! I have missed you so much and am so happy that you're back. Thinking I might need a fresh start too :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love the new space already, Rach! Miss you and can't wait for more wedding photos. I mean, yeah, I was there, but I want to see the fancy schmancy bridals!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy happy happy! Welcome back: )

    ReplyDelete
  5. so glad you're back! and this page is so beautiful and so you! i can't wait to hear how things have been going for you with all of the amazing life changes you've had. i keep waiting for my blogging mojo to return, too but for now i'm enjoying the silence. haha. love you girl! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  6. Welcome back I love the new design and cannot wait to see your wedding pictures!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Welcome back! I can't wait to see all of the wedding details - and that John Lennon quote, LOVE!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so glad you're back, sweet friend!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Welcome back!! You have been missed!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am FREAKING OUT right now!!! Welcome back - I have missed you, sweet friend! Looking forward to more great things to come, and for the record, I lone that photo of you and INSANE amount - GORGEOUS! :) xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  11. So glad you're back!!! Love the design and cannot wait to see more beautiful wedding pics!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have missed your writing for so long! You have always been on my "must read" list and today you're returning to that list. I can't wait to see where your new blog goes. It looks beautiful and so is the writing and person! Thanks for sharing yourself again.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You're back! You're back! You're back!


    And making me want to be back. It's all beautiful and perfect Rae :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. My heart is all grinch after he gives back all the gifts to the people of whoville -- TWO SIZES TOO BIG, after seeing YOURE BACKKKKKKKK!

    ReplyDelete
  15. OKAY YES. This is going to be so good!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your message last night on my blog made my entire day! You are back, MISSY! Can't wait to catch up!

    ReplyDelete
  17. So glad that you rejoined the blogging world! Transparency is such a challenge. Good luck to not falling prey to all those silly blog rules. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. So glad your back! Good for you for making blogging into what you want it to be again. I can't wait to start reading again. And seriously, wedding recaps!!! Can't wait!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Can't wait to hear all about your wedding!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am so glad you're back! Loving this fresh new space to match your beautiful face! Missed you!

    ReplyDelete